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| Those cutting-edgers over at Landover Baptist Church are at it again! Get your free PS3! http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1206/ps3.html Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 3! This brand new extended PlayStation 3 offer is for children and teenagers only! It may not be used in conjunction with any other Landover Baptist salvation offer.  Hey kids! If your Mom and Dad can't get you a PlayStation 3 for Christmas, you can still get one FOR FREE! Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ? Well, He's heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are too cheap to buy! In fact, the Lord Jesus is very upset with your parents that they won't give you all the latest stuff that every kid in America deserves! And Jesus has got your back, because He is your homeboy! If you've never heard of Jesus, He is an invisible cloud-dwelling deity (infinite lives!) who loves you very much and wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 3!
We here at Landover Baptist Church work full-time as servants of Jesus Christ, and He's told us about you and your predicament. He's also given us special instructions on how He wants us to deliver a new PlayStation 3 to your house. It's as easy as 1-2-3! Understand, Jesus cares WAY more about you than your parents EVER will! They will never love you as much as Jesus loves you! Always remember that. If you hate your parents because they can't get you a PlayStation 3 for Christmas, He completely understands! He is totally down with that! In fact, lucky for you, in order to follow Him, you are actually required to hate your parents! "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother...he cannot be my disciple." - The Lord Jesus Christ (Luke 14:26)
Pretty cool, huh? So, if you hate your parents, you are already halfway to becoming a True Christian™! Congratulations! Here is what you need to do to get your free Play Station 3: 1. Tell Jesus that you hate your parents, and that you'd rather have Him for your Daddy. Ask Him to forgive your sins, and cover you with His blood (you'll see plenty of that splattered across your TV when you play your complimentary Grand Theft Auto 3 game!).  2. Find one of your Mom or Dad's credit cards (a blank check is even better!)
3. Call our church office and we will provide you with simple instructions on how to use your parents' credit card to charge a love offering over the phone. Don't worry if you can't find a credit card. We can teach you how to use one of your daddy's checks to do an automatic draft withdrawal (which will get you free shipping and an extra game disk!)
Please note: If your parents ask you where you got your new PlayStation 3, just tell them that your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, delivered it to you via the U.S. Postal Service in exchange for your soul. *** * **** It's been a long time. I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving. | | |
| Potter is prince of evilSeptember 01, 2006 12:00 HARRY Potter is downright evil - hiding "the signature of the king of darkness, the devil" - according to the Vatican's chief demon-basher. Father Gabriele Amorth, who is Pope Benedict XVI's senior exorcist, claims UK author J.K. Rowling's global hit books contain innumerable positive references to magic, "the satanic art". "Behind Harry Potter hides the signature of the king of the darkness, the devil," he told Vatican Radio.
And according to the Daily Mail newspaper in London, he added the books attempt to make a false distinction between black and white magic, when in fact, the distinction "does not exist, because magic is always a turn to the devil".
Amorth, who is president of the International Association of Exorcists, also said Adolf Hitler and Russian leader Joseph Stalin were possessed by the devil, and that Pope Pius XII once tried to perform a long-distance exorcism on Hitler. "I am convinced that the Nazis were all possessed. All you have to do is think about what Hitler - and Stalin did. Almost certainly they were possessed by the devil. "You can tell by their behavior and their actions, from the horrors they committed and the atrocities that were committed on their orders. That's why we need to defend society from demons."
According to secret Vatican documents recently released, wartime pontiff Pope Pius XII attempted a "long distance" exorcism of Hitler, which failed to have any effect, the Daily Mail reported.
Amorth said: "It's very rare that praying and attempting to carry out an exorcism from distance works.
"Of course you can pray for someone from a distance but in this case it would not have any effect. *** * **** Been a while. Thought this was funny. 
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| True Origin of Christian "FISH" Symbol Might Outrage, Shock Jesus Worshippers
 For many pop-culture Christians, the "fish" decal on the back car bumper, or attached to a key chain or door is a symbol of their religion, and a feel-good statement about Jesus Christ. Early Christians used the fish as a recognition sign of their religion. It is also identified as the "Ichthus," an acronym from the Greek, "Iesous Christos Theou Uios Soter," or "Jesus Christ the Son of God, Saviour." Oxford English Dictionary (C.E.) defines "Ichthyic" as "of, pertaining to, or characteristic of fishes; the fish world in all its orders."
But contemporary Jesus worshippers might be surprised, even outraged, to learn that one of their preeminent religious symbols antedated the Christian religion, and has its roots in pagan fertility awareness and sexuality. Barbara G. Walker writes in "The Woman's Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects," that the acronym pertaining to Jesus Christ was a "rationale invented after the fact... Christians simply copied this pagan symbol along with many others." Ichthys was the offspring son of the ancient Sea goddess Atargatis, and was known in various mythic systems as Tirgata, Aphrodite, Pelagia or Delphine. The word also meant "womb" and "dolphin" in some tongues, and representations of this appeared in the depiction of mermaids. The fish also a central element in other stories, including the Goddess of Ephesus (who has a fish amulet covering her genital region), as well as the tale of the fish that swallowed the penis of Osiris, and was also considered a symbol of the vulva of Isis.
Along with being a generative and reproductive spirit in mythology, the fish also has been identified in certain cultures with reincarnation and the life force. Sir James George Frazer noted in his work, "Adonis, Attis, Osiris: Studies in the History of Oriental Religion" (Part Four of his larger work, "The Golden Bough") that among one group in India, the fish was believed to house a deceased soul, and that as part of a fertility ritual specific fish is eaten in the belief that it will be reincarnated in a newborn child.
Well before Christianity, the fish symbol was known as "the Great Mother," a pointed oval sign, the "vesica piscis" or Vessel of the Fish. "Fish" and "womb" were synonymous terms in ancient Greek,"delphos." Its link to fertility, birth, feminine sexuality and the natural force of women was acknowledged also by the Celts, as well as pagan cultures throughout northern Europe. Eleanor Gaddon traces a "Cult of the Fish Mother" as far back as the hunting and fishing people of the Danube River Basin in the sixth millennium B.C.E. Over fifty shrines have been found throughout the region which depict a fishlike deity, a female creature who "incorporates aspects of an egg, a fish and a woman which could have been a primeval creator or a mythical ancestress..." The "Great Goddess" was portrayed elsewhere with pendulous breasts, accentuated buttocks and a conspicuous vaginal orifice, the upright "vesica piscis" which Christians later adopted and rotated 90-degrees to serve as their symbol.
http://www.atheists.org/christianity/fish.html
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